unpretty

WARNING:  this is a very personal ramble.

call off the search party, i’m still alive.

sorry for being m.i.a.  besides the typical excuses: work, life… it’s also that, lately, i’ve been very uninspired, unmotivated, and mostly unattractive.  ever since the napa trip (i know, it’s been 3 weeks), i still haven’t snapped out of the vacay eating mode.  if anything, i think i’ve accidentally developed a new horrible lifestyle of eating whatever i want and not exercising.  every time, i try to snap myself back together, i’d fail.  remember how i said i was going to try the master cleanse?  well, i failed that too.  twice!  of course, all this recklessness is not without consequences.  i am getting fatter by the minute and a lot of my cute clothes seem to have gotten not so cute on me… this leads to me feeling gross and unpretty… which gets me depressed… and the comfort eating… then finally i stop putting the effort to look nice every morning… so starts the vicious cycle again.  yes, this is nothing new to me.  ever since my teen years, i have always struggled with my weight.  what can i say?  i love food and i got a super lazy metabolism.

so while, i’m going through my debbie downer phase, this has been my salvation:  the sf shiba cam

Live Video streaming by Ustream

i am still interested in fashion and would love to post more outfits.  however being now camera-shy, i think i might have to think of more creative ways to display my clothes.  let’s see what i end up doing…

 

Yvonne

Yvonne is the inconsistent and neglectful author behind Modern Girl, a blog that chronicles her insatiable appetite for fashion, beauty, food, and design.

39 Comments

Seattle Modern

Same here, I just stumbled on this blog and hope you are still active. I’d love to see what else you have to say. Also a seattle localite.

Reply
Thrifted Shift

Are you still on hiatus? Come back, please! I just found your blog and I want to see more of what you wear and where you go! I just started blogging out of Seattle as well. Come back!
–TS

Reply
nathalie

We all have our moments… sometimes weeks. Just use the next meal to make a good decision and use your spare moments to get your heart up! Even if it’s just a walk. Every little bit helps!

Reply
Hurnrningbird

Great blog! I am your newest follower!!!

I found your blog on the Seattle Style Blogger webpage, I’m from Seattle too! Check out my blog and if you like my posts- please follow back. It would make my day 🙂

xoxo

hurnrningbird.blogspot.com

Reply
Jess

I understand completely. I think when you are petite and have a small frame, extra weight shows even more. At least that’s how I feel about myself. I struggle with my weight and sometimes I feel like I have to watch what I eat more than my friends who are a little heavier.

Anyways, we are our own worst enemy and biggest critic. Ya know? I have had no success in being consistent with food and diet when it was about the numbers or clothing size. It was when I wanted to do it for health’s sake and to feel better, that I stuck it out.

Reply
Richelle

Come back already. You’re taking too long 🙂 I miss your pretty face and you are still one of my frequent blogs that I check up on and that’s why I’m here. HEHE 🙂

I hope everything in your life is going great and that’s not why you’re not sharing 🙂

Reply
Louisa

Yvonne,
I keep checking your blog to see if you have returned… I miss reading your posts and I hope you are feeling better about yourself. We should walk around Green Lake with our shibas some time. Hope you are enjoying your summer. — Louisa

Reply
bijuterii argint

relax! and just take it easy… come back at work just the way you like to be and… have a life 🙂

Reply
amy

Just peeking in to see if you have any new posts 🙂 Miss your keen sense of fashion and your inspiration! Hope all is well.

Reply
emmy

Hi there! I just wanted to say I miss your lovely posts!
Hope everything is ok with you!

Reply
Vivian

Hi Yvonne! Oh girl – I totally feel your pain. And I’ve silently gone thru those phases in blogging too. Who wants to post pics of themselves when they feel the furthest thing from looking and feeling good about themselves? I’ve been on a big motivation kick lately, trying to lose some lbs myself. Both my sister and my SIL have both dropped a lot of weight (not that they were even big before) but now I’m the fat one. So I’ve been just pushing myself to get on the treadmill and go for walks everyday. It’s all internal “noise” but really feeling good about yourself is the only cure. So I say, do what you need to do to feel good about yourself, whatever that is. Take care hun!

xoxo,
Viv

Reply
Julia

I totally relate, and I think all women do! Don’t beat yourself up about a few days of food choices — you can’t undo it, but you can focus on setting healthy goals for today. You are the farthest thing from “unpretty” — you are gorgeous and a couple odd pounds aren’t going to change that!

Reply
amy

I was wondering where you went! I look so forward to opening your blog and seeing your beyond amazing outfit posts. I think we all go through “yucky” phases (I know I do) and it takes time to snap out of it. Hang in there and we all can’t wait to see you back here!

Reply
Amy S.

That shiba cam is addicting! I want one.

Reply
Anna Luong

yvonne!! you’re lovely girly!! you can always post pics of what you’re eating hehe…i’ve been soooo busy lately i haven’t updated my blog either…i think i’m also lazy to take pics! lol

feel better cutie!

xo,
anna

Reply
tiffany

GIRL! I miss you! I’ve been where you are, trust me. Come to bootcamp with me, I promise you’ll love it and the way you feel afterwards is better than eating ice cream. 😉

I’m about to jet off on 3 weeks of vacation and am very afraid of gaining weight so I’m working my buns off to make sure I don’t. It sucks getting to this point about worrying about weight and shit but I ain’t 20 no more! 🙂

Carolyn – Yeah! the 3 of us need to get together and run greenlake.

Reply
Carolyn

i got so into telling you how lovely you are i even messed up on grammar!! of course i meant to say, i’m sure you are* 😉

Reply
Carolyn

i know, going on trips is the worst/best when it comes to eating. bf and i recently went to napa too, sf, ny, and chicago, all major foodie cities and i’ve been eating like a crazy person! i’m sure you LOVELY but we’re our own worst critics. if you want a workout partner, let’s go run greenlake!

Reply
nhu

oh thats ridicilous, you’re so beautiful and I love reading your blog. It’s hard to find a not so tiny and skinny asian woman. You and me are a rarity. I’ve learned just to embrace it. Looking forward to more posts from you!

Reply
Chelsea

awh I miss your posts yvonne! you are for sure in my thoughts and I know you will find a bright spot very soon <3

xoxo

Reply
Cozbi

Reality hurts indeed. However, many of us have similar pains be it weight or other trials. Please do not give up. Try to find joy in other areas of your life right now. I have to remind myself that I want to spend 3 hours a day training and hardly get to enjoy the true joy of eating, then I am not going to have a super model body. Accept the reality of the the circumstances you’re allowing for yourself. If they are not too your liking, make changes until you find the happy medium. I have just recently gotten a personal trainer. Best purchase in a while possibly ever! I am learning to be more moderate in how I eat, not necessarily what but how. We can have really whatever we want, it’s just how much of it we take in! Then according to that either being content with the fact that it may add an extra pound in guilt or preparing to work it off the next day.
Please continue to keep us updated. Your reality is one shared by us all and your honesty helpful in ways you may not even think. I’ve gone from model thin 5’5; 98lbs to 5’5; currently 136lbs and I am FIGHTING for this 136. FIGHTING!
You can do whatever you want with your body… if you fight for it 🙂

xoxo

Reply
Criss

I don’t know what you’re talking about. You are super beautiful!!!

Reply
Lisa

Aww hon don’t get down on yourself.. I can totally relate I’ve been anywherenfrom 120 pounds to 240 pounds.. (the scary part is that I’ve been 240 more than a few times in my life!) anywqyas I super understand what your going through its like one bad weekend or even a day leads to more bad eating which in turns gets me all depressed.. And then I eat more because I’m so upset.. And then not doing my hair, and makeup and having sweatpants permanently tat toed on to my ass is only a short bound away! We should help each other yvonee!! I’ve been looking for a partner to keep me motivated for awhile.. All my gas are these skinny Asian biyotches haha. But seriously I canotntell you this enough and it probably wont register because I dont believe my husband when he tells me especially when I’m in a funk. But houbara ridiculously stunningly gorgeous!!!!

Reply
A.Co

Yvonne!!!! 🙁 🙁 I miss you!

EVERYDAY I come here and have been like, ‘Where is she!?’ or, ‘ANOTHER day at the Bouchere’ (or whatever it’s called)… le sigh. 😉

You are GORGEOUS, first of all, and despite a few pounds, you will still be GORGEOUS.
Here’s what you gotta do: cut out treats for three days (ugh, I know). OR, if that’s too much to handle at this point, cut back to HALF the treats you’ve been eating for three days then no treats for three days after that. Snack on as many veggies and fruits as you can in lieu. On day four, reward yourself with a treat (chocolate, pastry, whatever).
Don’t fuss about working out, don’t worry about that at this point. Just focus on removing treats for a few days. Ready? Set? GO!

<3 ya.

A.Co @ A.Co est. 1984

PS – this–> “Here’s something I learned from tumblr, “If you are pretty, it doesn’t matter what size you are because you’ll always be pretty. But if you’re ugly, then you are.. Well.. Fucked.” <– is hilarious.

Reply
Francesca

ahh yes i love a good ramble myself! dont be camera shy! blogs are the new writing journal!! 🙂 also, if you have a spare moment, I would love if you would enter my Dior giveaway because it actually helps me win a really big blogging competition that I’m in atm. I would be super, super appreciative 🙂 Even if you don’t want to enter, I would really appreciate your vote 🙂

xx

Reply
Karolinka.cy

Dear Yvonne, you can’t imagine but I feel like somebody wrote down all what I feel 🙂 I take it with a smile on my face, because at the end of the day with a little bit more weight here or there I will dress up and take photos for my blog, I won’t care somebody is having body like I always dream to have, because I know there is somebody out there who will dream to have one like mine, not beacuse I am perfect but because there is no perfection and we all want to look different instead appreciate what is the most important: inside beauty and health, that’s all matter!

Reply
Sheryl

I’ve been checking your blog the whole of last week and was just wondering what happened to you. So happy to see a post today. Babe, I can only tell you how jealous I am of your beauty…..you have the sweetest and most genuine smile!! I may not understand how you feel but we all have our insecurities and trust me I have a ton!! Everyday is precious, be HAPPY!!

Warm hugs!!
Sheryl

http://www.walkinwonderland.com

Reply
CessOviedo

I almost burst into tears when I read this, all those lines were the story of my life, I just gained like ten pounds on the last two months, and every time I decide to start a diet, I fail and eat even more! I’m so sad at the moment for that, and of course I undestand the way you feel and no matter how much others say you look fine, if you are not comfortable with your weight there’s absolutely nothing they can do to make you feel better, only thing I can say is not to loose your focus and hope you find a successful way to loose that weight, just remeber to stay on the healthy side! You have all my support!

Cess O. <3 The Outfit Diaries

Reply
Tamiko

I’ve been there, girl. It’s the curse of being a foodie. You had a mighty feast in SF — fantastic. Yes, it takes time indeed but sure enough you’ll bounce back to what makes you comfortable! Truth be told, you’re so pretty 🙂

Reply
Kathy

I know how you feel! We all get in ruts sometimes, having to do with weight or otherwise, and it is frustrating… but you will get out of it! Reversing the trend is always the worst part. I am in that position now, too – no amount of compliments change our own personal idea of where we’re comfortable!

Anyway, lovely blog 🙂

Reply
annie

yvonne! don’t feel like this! i hope you feel better and i know from experience that it takes time and take however long you need deary!

Reply
oomph.

aw…sorry you’re feeling this way. three weeks isn’t bad; i’ve been feeling this way for three years since mini-he was born. i went from being a total exercise freak to not exercising, period. and i haven’t changed my eating habits either. my metabolism definitely isn’t what it used to be. anyways, you’re certainly not getting fatter by the minute and you are definitely pretty…so, chin up, girl! you’re fabulous!! will await your return 🙂

rockoomph.blogspot.com

Reply
Emily

Remember you always have your readers! I look forward to your posts and hope we can help keep you motivated to stay healthy and happy:)

Styledbyemily.com

Reply
liana

wow i totally know how you feel, having a kid and not having a job has left me lazy and made me eat more..trying to stick to a healthy diet and exercise routine is so hard too..but i think you look great, and don’t let yourself get down or compare yourself to others, that is something that i need to work on as well 🙂
you have a great blog, keep it up!

Fashion Bag 411

Reply
linda june

im sure you have gotten many comments by now about how crazy you are for saying your fat and how ludicrous it is that your even feeling that way.. well as someone who is also going through this right now im sure you can agree that those comments although nice and sweet dont really change the way you feel at the moment.. just remember this will pass and you will be your old self in no time 🙂

Reply
katie

i can relate – like many others, i imagine. Everything fluctuates in our lives, if it was a constant steady then we wouldn’t be able to experience the great times in comparison to the not so great. Food/exercise routines are hard to maintain, & i always think you can only go forwards – if you’ve just enjoyed a massive slice of cake, try not to DIS-enjoy it 2 minutes later, it takes away some of the pleasure! instead, look forward to your next exercise session, set yourself tasks & rewards (i find writing a daily diary/list very helpful when getting back on track, because you can identify slip-ups) – & ultimately, cliched as it is, you probably see yourself in a much more critical light than others – hell, marilyn monroe was a UK size 14 (US size 10?) & she was pretty damn hot!

sorry for the long rant! & to plug my blog – i’ve just posted a recipe for garlic soup – nutritious (garlic must be good for the metabolism, right?), decadent, & healthy (-the only fat is in the olive oil, but you could use a heavy-based pan & spray oil instead)

keep up the good work!
katie x
{glass of fashion}

Reply
Rebecca

Been there. Actually, probably a bit there with you at the moment. If only there was a magic pill or phrase that could pull a person out of their funk. Unfortunately, I think it just takes time. And maybe a treadmill. Nonetheless, I enjoy your blog and look forward to seeing what you post, be it outfits, trends, style icons, etc.

Coffee & Inspiration

Reply
Richelle

First off, you’re nuts. Here’s something I learned from tumblr, “If you are pretty, it doesn’t matter what size you are because you’ll always be pretty. But if you’re ugly, then you are.. Well.. Fucked.”

You are gorge!! Stop being crazy 🙂

P.S. LOVE THE SHIBA CAM!! I want one. They’re so adorable 🙂

Reply
Holly

awww, don’t get down on yourself! i think i know exactly how you feel– my weight fluctuates a lot, and it’s the worst feeling in the world to feel fatter than your normal self. You are just in a rut! you just need a change of pace, or just time to let your body and mind rest and pick yourself back up! sometimes i like to try some new healthy (but GOOD) recipes to get myself back out of the junk food addiction / eating binge (healthy food is more fun when it’s new). it really is an addiction! i’m currently going through a junk food phase as we speak… can’t stop eating chocolate and it’s ruining me!!!!

Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *